her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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