well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
