Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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