what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
