I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
