If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
