Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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