it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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