Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
