you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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