u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
