two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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