Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
