i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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