i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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