I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
