a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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