they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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