Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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