She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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