I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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