Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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