Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
