I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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