my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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