I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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