what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
