so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
