I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
