on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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