at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
His nipple licking is glorious
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