I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
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This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just lost a toe
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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