I cockslap morals
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
