I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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