i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
