sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
