It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We left an ass print on the piano.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
