whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
