Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
