I'm really into asian looking animals
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
