Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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