Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
