Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
