He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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