Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
then he tried to convert me to islam
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
