Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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