Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
