i need an iv and a liver transplant
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
