yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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