none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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