I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
