His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
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It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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