I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
