Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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