East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
