what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
