you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
