I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
