so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
