The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
