Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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