idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
