This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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